Copyright © 2009 Susan Rabin, M.A



One of the Simple Secrets
of Flirting is to Smile

Eye contact and body language are essential to a good flirt, but the smile is the universal language of flirting.  The secret of flirting is simple—SMILE! In my years of teaching "How to Flirt," the most essential, and universal, skill that guarantees successful social relating the one that stands apart—and never grows stale—is the SMILE!

Flirting is the first step in communication. It is the best way to get to know another person. Flirting is an action verb, "to flirt". It means that you have to do something, take a risk. The best, safest and most successful risk is to smile.

Flirting, or as the dictionary defines it as "acting amorous without serious intent", means being playful, friendly, charming, having a sense of humor, and taking a chance in order to meet new people. Whether you are at the coffee bar, a bookstore, a museum, or a supermarket, try to remember to smile. Do not look worried, preoccupied, desperate or in need of a serious commitment. Get involved in the activity you are doing and enjoy the moment, and when you see an attractive stranger, smile. After all, you never know what might happen! But if you don’t smile, in all likelihood, nothing will.

I am not suggesting that you take an unsafe risk and smile at strangers in dark alleys or in smoky bars at 4AM, but try and smile in safe places where there are lots of people and positive energy.

Smile at the stranger sipping cappuccino or give directions to a person holding a map. If we don’t smile, or communicate, we limit our chances to transform our lives. Besides, even if the person isn’t interested, you’ve made them feel good about themselves by smiling. So makes someone’s day!

Rules for smiling...

  • Pick a safe place
  • Test-drive some different smiles on your friends to see which is most becoming to you.
  • Practice your smile in the mirror
  • Check your attitude. Is your smile sincere? 
  • And your homework: Smile at five people a day.

Additional Flirting Tips:

  • Get out of the house! Watching "Love Connection" and actually making one aren't compatible.
  • Take the initiative: other people are shy too!
  • Nothing terminates encounters faster than a Terminator approach. Give others time to get to know you.
  • Your body is speaking even when you are not. Be aware of what message you're sending.
  • Touch is a powerful communicator. Use it sparingly.
  • Your job, car, or inflated ego is not an aphrodisiac. Showing as much interest in your partner's achievements as you do in your own is the ultimate turn-on.
  • Talking too much is a sure sign that you aren't listening.
  • Anyplace can be a meeting place. Make where you are work for you.
  • Be generous with sincere compliments. Smile, smile, smile! Someone is interested in you!
  • Flirting is not a one-shot deal. Try, try again!

Copyright © 2007, Susan Rabin, M.A


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